


The Ship Song

by CelesteExTenebris



Category: Hornblower (TV)
Genre: Age of Sail, Angst, Angst and Feels, Episode Related, I Made Myself Cry, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Missing Scene, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 23:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14224533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteExTenebris/pseuds/CelesteExTenebris
Summary: Set after the 8th and last movie in the series, "Duty".Although Admiral Pellew's news seem like a reason to be joyous, neither of the two men feels like celebrating.





	The Ship Song

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one-shot after listening to "The Ship Song" by Amanda Palmer (originally by Nick Cave), hence the name.  
> I immediately related it to Hornblower & Pellew, and I think it perfectly describes the atmosphere of their parting.
> 
> This is what happened after _Duty_ and no one can convince me otherwise.

Heavy rain pounded against the window and the panes rattled loudly in the storm that swept across the harbour. The streets were emptied like those of a ghost town. Night had fallen many hours ago, yet none of the two men that sat in the dimly lit inn room could even think about sleep.

Horatio Hornblower and Edward Pellew had remained silent since they entered the room and the door clicked shut behind them. For the first time since what seemed like forever, they were alone, and the world on the other side of the door would not trouble them until sunrise. While both men had wished for nothing else more desperately, the weight of this night lay heavy on their shoulders. Horatio feared it would almost be too much to bear. All the unspoken words that had always taunted him in Pellew's presence now weighed bitterly on his chest, taking his breath away, choking him with sobs that had not yet left his throat.

He wanted to make himself believe it was just a night like any other; they would board the Indy with the first sunrays of the next day and set sail for distant shores and new adventures. Eager sailors would climb the rigging and prepare the ship for departure; the boatswain's pipes would sound over the deck while orders were bellowed; maybe Matthews and Styles would wave at the young officer as he stepped on board.

Horatio smiled as the memories of the ship he had called home throughout various hardships filled his mind. Ah, the Indy, the brave Indefatigable! He had quickly taken a liking to her back in the days when he still wore the Midshipman's uniform. All too often, the Indefatigable had been the proverbial light on the horizon in his time of need; he had always taken care to stay grateful for it. But only now, years after he first laid eyes on her, he began to grasp how dear these old times were to him.

As another gust of wind shook the windows violently, Horatio woke from his daydreams with a wince. Straightening himself up, he let his eyes wander across the room until they found the man that sat in the other armchair. Admiral Pellew's gaze was facing outward, seemingly contemplating the tempest and the departure that was scheduled around noon tomorrow. But the young man had known his Captain too long and too well to miss the small glisten in his brown eyes that gave him away. Wherever his thoughts currently resided, it was obviously any place but his ship. Naval duties could do a lot to a man, as Horatio sure did know - but them could not bring him to the verge of tears.

"Sir..." Horatio spoke softly as he reached out for the older man without touching him.

"Please, no more of this." Pellew suddenly responded, still staring at the growing water puddles on the street, as if the outside world held any meaning to him, as if he even noticed it at all. His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

Those few words took Horatio by such surprise that they robbed him of any resistance that was left in him. Nothing could stop the hot tears from welling up anymore, they blurred his vision and flowed down his cheeks like the relentless rain that flooded the town. No more of this... Four simple words and all was said.

The feelings they shared had been an open secret to both men for a long time, but to hear it adressed so openly now sent a myriad of shivers down the young man's spine. Indeed, he was certain of the Admiral's affection - how could it be any different when this very Admiral had assured him of it so many times before with pure touch and glances? Yet everything that had happened between them had stayed unnamed by silent agreement. In the cover of darkness, they had shared forbidden moments two men shouldn't, while they were painfully aware of the price they would have to pay if they were ever found out. After all, the Articles of War were more than clear on the subject. Sinful, against the law and thoroughly wrong - that's what people would call it. Yet Horatio never felt shame when they held each other close. Between these few precious moments when they could share secrets and be as one, they kept up a poor masquerade of propriety between them, never venturing outside of the well-known waters of general etiquette. For if they ever let but one tender word slip, it would inevitably happen again. They had tried to fool themselves and never asked for more - save for the cruelly unmissable longing in their eyes.

And now, Pellew had undone all their efforts within seconds.

"This will most likely be the last time our paths cross, you know this as well as I do. With this in mind, we might as well make it the one time we can remember... to be spent without the usual constraints." A sad smile graced Pellew's lips and Horatio asked himself once again how on earth he had deserved this most beautiful of all blessings - the affection of the man that made his heart tremble.

As Pellew finally turned around to face him and breathed a soft "Horatio...", the boy found himself at a loss for words. Never before had he heard his name coming from the Admiral's lips. Never before had it sounded so beautiful.

The flood of emotions that cascaded over Horatio was too much for the boy's poor heart. He jumped to his feet as fast as lightning and reached Pellew with two large steps. Not able to control the yearning beating of his heart anymore, he downright threw himself upon the man who had been with him day and night, in gruelling worries and sweetest dreams. His Captain had lived in them ever since the day when he, Horatio Hornblower, had raised a tell-tale smile from him for the first time, a smile that was far too warm, embellished with deep brown eyes lightening up in such revealing fashion.

Horatio straddled his long legs around his superior and clinged to him for dear life, like a drowning man to a lifeline. Pellew was the only one who could soothe his restless soul and bring him peace in times of war.

Edward Pellew, not at all surprised by his best officer's youthful energy, welcomed Horatio back into his arms. A shiver as the younger man's skin touched his own, a relieved sigh and squinted eyes as the sudden closeness overwhelmed him - all this was testament to his longing. He had tried to suppress the stirrings of his heart for so long, only to protect the one it beat the fastest for - what terrible irony! This folly would end here and now.

"Horatio..." Pellew began again, letting the name roll over his tongue and savouring the taste it left there. "Despite the risk of sounding like a sentimental fool, I want you to know that this... the moments we shared, they meant everything to me. For tomorrow and all other days to come, I hope you can remember that I shall never forget... as long as I live... the day one young man stepped aboard when he was entrusted to my care by some god-given chance."

With a dumbfounded expression, Horatio stared at the other man, trying to grasp the words that had just found their way into his ears. His face, frozen in time and framed by dark curls, evoked an image of a Greek statue in Pellew's mind, a marble angel from the days of old. By now, he thought, no one could seriously blame him anymore for surrending to this creature, and to be frank, he did not give a damn about it either.

"Damn it, Mr Hornblower, I love you!" Pellew bursted out, far more forcefully than he had intended. As Horatio continued to stare at him in silence, his eyes growing bigger and bigger, Pellew began to fear he might have startled the boy, but his worries were soon proven to be unfounded. All tension that had made Horatio barely able to control his shaking just seconds ago left him at once. A small, blissful smile spread across his face as his muscles eased and he carefully leant his forehead against Pellew's while closing his eyes. Even though it was only a touch as light as a feather, they had never felt closer.

After resting like this for some time and listening to the sound of each other's breaths, Horatio moved his head just enough so he could let their lips meet. Soft, so soft, flavored with the salty taste of tears, love and loss.  
The other man's hands, roughened by the long years at sea, caressed his back with a softness one would think impossible as they tenderly moved their lips against each other.

"I love you too, Edward." Horatio whispered, coaxing something between a sigh and a whimper out of his lover's mouth. This was the last chance to tell him, and he hoped those words would be buried deep inside his dear Edward's memory.

Because Sir Edward Pellew would be leaving for London tomorrow due to his latest promotion. Because Horatio would be left behind with a wife he had married for nothing else than his darned sense of duty. Because fate would break them apart, ending everything that never had a chance to begin and severing the last lifeline.

"I believe in you, Horatio. I always have. Even when these bridges are burnt down, you will learn to fly on your own. By God, you will make the most magnificent commander the world has ever seen."  
When Horatio's lips found Edward's in another deepening kiss which would soon melt their hearts and bodies together, they knew this moment would stay with them forever. This night would be theirs to remember.


End file.
